Gratitude and Some Other Stuff

I had a break through the other day. I was talking to my dear friend Krista, pouring out my heart and soul, telling her how desperate I am to rid myself of this awful, ugly, darkness. She, being the brilliant friend she is, sweetly asked me if I had been to the Temple recently- duh, Holli! Here I had been serving in the Oquirrh Mountain temple during the open house, and not once did I think, "I really need to get myself to a DEDICATED temple." I know, I am a terrible Latter Day Saint, and that should have been my FIRST thought. Anyway, we'll just forget that little tid-bit and move on to my NEXT break through: I really need to stop focusing on finding relief and start thinking about all the positive things in my life. I don't want to be a downer! Who wants to hang out with THAT person? So while the whole temple thing is in the works (I know, I have no excuse, but I am chalking it up to crazy work and school schedules) I decided to list things that I am grateful for, and things that I have come to realize over the past few months. As my faithful readers, I thank you for putting up with my crazy rantings, and hope you will humor my ENORMOUS break through. :)

Realization #1- Satan is just plain mean. He can take a mom and strip her of anything she ever thought positive about herself in like 2 seconds. He is a force to be reckoned with. I will NOT let that mean guy keep me down any longer. One day he will get what's coming to him- I think it's called "Outer Darkness."

Realization #2- I know that I am over weight. I am working on it, and trying my best to feel good about myself. The other day I realized that I can still wear clothes that I wore before SAM. Not that I want to wear clothes that are 4 years old, but just the knowledge that I COULD makes me feel better. :)

Realization #3- It's not the end of the world if family members decide to stop talking to me. It doesn't affect my Eternal salvation, nor is it a reflection of my character. It is their choice, not mine and I shouldn't keep feeling guilty for something I didn't do. All I have ever done is be honest, and if that's a sin, I just don't care. This all goes back to the mean guy, who is known as the great deceiver. This realization alone has been the most liberating. :)

Now for all the gratitude- and please keep in mind that these are a FEW things I am grateful for, and are not in any order what-so-ever. My brain is just random.

I am grateful for:

Mateo's smile- it's so cute when they only have 4 teeth that show

Sam's humor. That boy makes me laugh ALL the time

My super patient husband. He is pretty much the greatest guy in the world and I am lucky to have him.

My family, and especially my mom. She does so much for me that I don't know what I'd ever do without her. She is an amazing woman and is a great example to me.

My friends- they are pretty much the greatest too

My walking buddies (who are also my friends) our three-day-a-week therapy sessions do wonders for me and I hope we can find a way to keep it up once it's freezing cold.

Cafe Rio and Coldstone- I know we aren't supposed to medicate with food but sometimes, that is the only thing that works. :)

Temples and the Gospel in general.

Eternal families

I'll keep this list short because I know that I can keep going (and I will in my mind and my regular journal- not this fancy electronic one that everyone can read. :) )

P.S. The picture has nothing to do with the post, but what's a post without a picture?