I didn't think it was possible to be in a bad mood in December. How can you with all of the Holiday Cheer that surrounds you? Well, it happened. I'm not sure if it's the recent damage done to my vehicle that is creating such a ridiculous headache, or the fact that some parts of my family (with divorced parents, you end up with a really weird, twisty, family tree- I prefer to call some of those twisty branches, "parts"- it's all a little too complicated) are falling apart and I am 6 hours away and not very helpful at all. I can feel my stress rising and I think I am one Christmas shopping trip away from freaking out on someone.
I stopped by the Post Office yesterday to mail out my Christmas cards (hoping I didn't forget anyone, sorry if I did) and noticed the Sub For Santa Christmas tree. I stopped to look, since I have a Miley Cyrus doll that no one seems to want, and found a 6 year old little girl that only asked for shirts and a dress. I continued looking, hoping to see a paper with "Hannah Montana" on it, but I decided that this little 6 year old would probably be happy to get a Miley Cyrus doll even if she didn't ask for it. In my search for Hannah Montana, the very small wish lists broke my heart. Some of the tags for babies asked for diapers, a little boy was hoping to get games for his Nintendo 64- a 64! That's ancient! I almost broke down right in the middle of the post office. If I could have afforded it, I would take every name off that tree and buy Christmas for those poor little kids- and I almost took a few. Then I had to remind myself that I still needed to donate money to our ward Sub 4 Santa fund, so I kept my little 6 year old and headed out.
In the midst of my frustrations, my worries, and my many, MANY, stresses, I decided to get the Christmas shopping done as soon as I could so I would be able to return the gifts to the Post Office. After shopping for her, I realized that my money stretched a lot farther than I had anticipated, and I know that wasn't due to my shopping skills. I hope that this little girl will be able to have the Christmas she deserves. I can't imagine how sad her parents must be that they weren't able to do it for her. I look at my boys and realize how blessed we truly are. It has been a hard year for us, but the blessings truly do outweigh everything else. Somehow my dark mood seems to have melted away, and hopefully it won't come back. I just need to let it all go, and let the true spirit of Christmas take over.
The other day Sam was asking me to sing Christmas songs with him. We sang some "fun" ones like "Rudolph" and "Jingle Bells," but then I decided to sing some about Baby Jesus. As I started singing, "Away in a Manger" I could feel my throat tighten as hot tears began welling in my eyes. I thought about Mary and how she must have felt holding little Baby Jesus, knowing he was the Savior of the world. I had never thought much about that until I had my own babies. Having Mateo around Christmas last year made me think about it even more. Manuel bought me a small Nativity set at Deseret Book and Sam constantly asks to hold Baby Jesus. I know in a previous post I had mentioned my desire to teach Sam the true meaning of Christmas and I know he understands. Now all I can think about is the sweet little baby laying in a manger, who came here to save us all.
2 comments:
I loved reading that. Thank you.
Thank you!
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