Thoughtful Thursdays

 I've had a lot on my mind since General Conference. Elder Ardern of the Seventy gave an amazing talk entitled, "A Time to Prepare." In it, he talks about how precious our time really is and that we should be using this time to prepare to meet God. He talks about making sure we are making good use of our time, and that being "busy" should also mean "productive." Elder Ardern mentions social media sites and online gaming as things that can quickly steal our time.

It got me thinking about my own habits. I feel crazy busy almost 95% of the time, and I wonder if I'm doing something wrong. I feel like the list of things I need to do is longer than I have time in the day to complete. I thought about some of the things I do on a daily basis that suck time away from my day. I try to limit my internet usage, but sometimes I find myself online longer than I should be. I check updates, browse craft websites, try to find things to pin to my boards... there's many things that keep me online. They aren't bad things, and I think we should always take some time for leisure activities, but I realized I probably do it more than I should. There are other things that need to be priority, and I feel guilty.

 Elder Ardern says:

I know our greatest happiness comes as we tune in to the Lord (see Alma 37:37) and to those things which bring a lasting reward, rather than mindlessly tuning in to countless hours of status updates, Internet farming, and catapulting angry birds at concrete walls. I urge each of us to take those things which rob us of precious time and determine to be their master, rather than allowing them through their addictive nature to be the master of us.

To have the peace the Savior speaks of (see John 14:27), we must devote our time to the things that matter most, and the things of God matter most. As we engage with God in sincere prayer, read and study each day from the scriptures, ponder on what we have read and felt, and then apply and live the lessons learned, we draw nearer to Him. God’s promise is that as we seek diligently from the best books, “[He] shall give unto [us] knowledge by his Holy Spirit” (D&C 121:26; see also D&C 109:14–15).

Satan will tempt us to misuse our time through disguised distractions. Although temptations will come, Elder Quentin L. Cook taught that “Saints who respond to the Savior’s message will not be led astray by distracting and destructive pursuits” (“Are You a Saint?” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2003, 96). Hiram Page, one of the Eight Witnesses of the Book of Mormon, taught us a valuable lesson about distractions. He had a certain stone and through it recorded what he thought were revelations for the Church (see D&C 28). On Hiram’s being corrected, an account says the stone was taken and ground into powder so it would never again be a distraction.¹ I invite us to identify the time-wasting distractions in our lives that may need to be figuratively ground into dust. We will need to be wise in our judgment to ensure that the scales of time are correctly balanced to include the Lord, family, work, and wholesome recreational activities. As many have already discovered, there is an increase of happiness in life as we use our time to seek after those things which are “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy” (Articles of Faith 1:13).

I know that I need to find a balance to keep me from getting away from the things that matter most. I haven't been on Facebook as much as I used to, and I have been trying to limit my internet usage. I am sure some people would say that Blogger is also a waste of time, but I am horrible at writing in my journal, and our blog is the best documentation for our family right now. I actually hope to start printing our blog as books so we can always have them.

I am grateful for Elder Ardern's talk. It helped put a lot of my own frustrations in perspective, and I know I have a lot to work on.

This kind of goes with my first thought, but I've been thinking about my family recently. Actually, I'm always thinking about my family. I've been thinking about all of the things we aren't doing that we should. I feel like sometimes I get so caught up in laundry, dishes, bills, menus and so many other things that I don't take time to just play with my kids. They grow up so fast, and I don't even take time to be with them. I feel like a horrible mother!

Lately, Mateo has decided that he needs to sit right next to me whenever I'm on the computer or just sitting on the couch for a second. Not only is he sitting right next to me, he is constantly flipping my hair or combing his fingers through it. It drives me INSANE. I love my kids, but sometimes I just need a moment where I don't have a child touching me. I've talked to plenty of women that I would consider amazing mothers, and they have those moments too so I don't feel so bad. :) One day as he was driving me crazy with the hair flipping, I realized he's just wants to be close to me. And then I felt like a horrible mother again.

We had a Relief Society activity last night on Family Home Evening. I adore the sister that spoke to us about the importance of FHE. She talked about how fast kids grow and told us to enjoy the stages our kids are in now. I almost cried. Little kids are so sweet, innocent, and hilarious. I have a friend that is not used to being around little kids. She serves in the Primary and told me that she has a hard time with how brutally honest little kids are. It makes me laugh because of how true that is. I've been trying to write down all of the funny things my kids say because I never want to forget.

I feel a little overwhelmed because I have SO much to work on, but I have to start somewhere! I really want to be the kind of mom my kids deserve. I'm so blessed to have these incredibly smart, cute, crazy little boys. They really do deserve more.