I've been reflecting a lot these past few days. There are many things I struggle with, but one thing that I struggle with the most is my capacity as a wife and mother. For a long time, I tried to tell myself I was a feminist- you know the type- outspoken, (still am a little!) and VERY protective of women's rights. NOW, don't think I am not grateful for the strong women that have gotten us to where we are today, because they are amazing. I am talking about the women that could care less whether they were home or not. Here's what my rambling is all about: I have realized that staying at home is the best gift my husband could have ever given me. Sewing, gardening, baking, canning, and quilting are all things I REALLY want to learn how to do. It seems that so many women have stepped so far away from their roles as wives and mothers that they scoff at people that actually want to be a homemaker. That is where my anti-feminist perspective comes into play.
I do have a problem though. Actually, I have a few problems. My first, is that I am a perfectionist. If I cannot do something well my first try there's a good chance I won't try it again. It's something that I am working on because it drives Manuel CRAZY, but with my problem, I feel like I fall short all of the time. I have a few friends that make me feel like I am a horrible wife/mother because I can't keep my house spotless, and never get to touch the things on my "want to do" list. I was reading a blog the other day, and this amazing woman had posted an entry about falling short. It brought me to tears because it was exactly what I needed to hear. It also helped me realize that there are so many great mothers that feel the same way I do. It is impossible to keep a house spotless when you have a tiny tornado that rips through every 10 minutes. It is impossible to keep up with housework, homework, and any other kind of work when you have a sweet little voice saying, "Hold you, Mama." And so I have decided that I need to stop listening to the people that make me feel lousy about myself, and start listening to the amazing mothers I already look up to. I can already feel my burden getting lighter.
3 comments:
I love this post! I don't know why you would ever feel lousy about being a "bad" homemaker - your house always looks so great! And your kids are well-mannered! You're a great mom and I look up to you so much!
I agree. It's hard not to feel like we're falling short because our jobs are so crucial and have such an impact on the future. I'm overwhelmed all the time. I think it's part of Satan's plan to make people think 1. that parenting is not as important as careers and worldly success and 2. to make us feel inadequate in our roles whether we stay home or not. You rock as a mom and wife and homemaker! I want to learn all those things too, maybe we can do some of it together!
I can't even get myself dressed until afternoon, and the kids - well you've seen them when things are left to me - they are in PJ's ALL day!! They do have some cute PJ's though!
I think you must have magical powers or something! You are an AWESOME Mom, Wife & Homemaker! I honestly do NOT know how you do it. I am truly amazed with how you can juggle EVERYTHING that you do and with such grace! YOU ARE JUST AWESOME!!
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