Want to Know Some Secrets?

This past week has been strange. I have felt completely lost, overwhelmed, and occasionally frustrated. I have had a lot of time to... think. Weird, isn't it? During school semesters I had a never ending "to-do" list with homework, then an even longer list to-do post homework (which I don't think I ever really found time for). Now that I have cleared my mind of the homework to-do list, I have been thinking about everything else that I have abandoned for... years. Not like I have left a room that needed to be cleaned for years, but other stuff. Stuff that people may make fun of me for. So how about I tell you some secrets?
-I am afraid I have lost my talent for writing. Did you know that I love to write? LOVE it. In fact, I was writing stories the minute I was able to formulate a sentence on paper. True story. Ask my mom. I used to write um... "romance" stories for a little old lady that lived across the street from us when we lived in Idaho. What in the world does a second grader know about romance? What a sweet old lady. Now, I think that I have about 4 ideas for books. Not like I will ever be a published writer (my dream, and has been for a VERY long time) and now that I think I have lost the talent, they may never be put on paper anyway. Is it arrogant to claim I am "talented" at writing? Wait, that I USED to be talented at writing? When I was in 9th grade I had to write a scary story for my GT English class. I used my friends as characters in the story, and the best part is that I used our GT History teacher as the murderer. Genius, right? Well, I turned my story in, and a few days later my English teacher asked me to come up to her desk. She told me that she had a letter that needed to go to my parents in regard to said scary story. I was scared to death! I didn't know what I had done wrong. I figured it was because I had used the mean History teacher as the killer and now I was in trouble. You won't believe the next part- she sent a letter home because she could not believe how great my story was. She even had the History teacher read it, and told my parents she was astounded at my writing ablities. Now, it may sound like I am bragging a little, and I guess that's okay, but the point of this story is to tell you why I am devastated over the loss of my talent. I haven't had time to write stories, and now it is gone. Now everything I write is lame or boring. It just isn't there. Sad.
-The other day I was a little frustrated with my very helpful husband. He is amazing and helps me out around the house as often as he can. I know that this is rare, and I am very lucky to have such a great husband. However, it is really hard when I spend time organizing the kitchen or another room and with a matter of a few weeks it can be in shambles again. Then it hit me. I really need a label maker. Actually, it's probably better that I don't have one, because I am pretty sure everything would have a label. Ah, what a life that would be- everything in it's proper place! I am trying really hard not to be such a freak about things, but if you know me at all, you know that is near impossible. Yep, the word is out. I am a freak.
- I have had fabric in my closet for three years now, waiting for me to sew pillows, curtains, and a headboard for my bedroom. Isn't that sad? All of the rooms in my house have some sort of decor in them except for the bedroom. It's probably because not too many people see my bedroom, but I think it is time to make a change. I really need to get those done. My sad little bedroom deserves it.
-My fear of spiders is hindering my attempt to rearrange our food storage room. I hate spiders. Even dead ones freak me out. Walking into any sort of web is enough to make me scream and run the other direction. I feel like they are crawling all over me. Gross.
- My kids have a weird obsession with cereal. One of them always seems to have a box of cereal in hand. It could be much worse, and cereal is fairly safe since most are fortified with vitamins and made with whole grains. The main problem I have with it is the fact that M will lift a newly opened box of cereal over his head and dump it all over the floor. Cereal boxes are now off limits to hold, but he'll dump any container with cereal in it. I am starting to hate cereal. Probably because I am sick of being asked for it, and even more sick of cleaning it up off my carpet.
-I really wish my kids were the "go to bed at 8:00" type. That's probably my fault, but I am really trying to change it. That way I wouldn't have to stay up until 11-12ish every night just for some "me" time. Frustrating.